Two men in a sauna. The first one says to the second one, “Do you want to see a magic trick?”
Second guy says, “Sure.”
“OK. Face away from me and get down on your hands and knees.”
Second guy turns around and gets down on all fours.
“There,” says the first one, “… does that feel like you’ve got a thumb up your ass?”
“Yes!”
The first guy waves both of his hands in the air, “Magic!”
A guy is walking down the street, and he’s really horny. So he goes to the first whore house he sees. He only has five dollars, so they kick him out. The guy goes to the next one. But, since he only has five dollars, he gets kicked out again.
So by this time, he’s really super horny, so he goes to the next one and says “Look, I only have five dollars. I’m really horny, and I need a blow-job for 5 dollars!”
The guy there says, “OK. For five dollars, we can give you a penguin.”
“What’s a penguin?”
“You’ll see!!!”
So, the guy takes the $5 and leads the horny man to a bedroom. The horny man unzips his pants, and waits for his “penguin.” Soon, a prostitute comes in and starts giving the guy a blow job. Just as he’s about to loose his load, she stops and walks away.
Now, the horny guy with his pants at his ankles, waddles after her, shouting, “HEY! WHAT’S A PENGUIN?!?”
A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively.
“Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”
To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won`t sleep with you tonight!”
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the shy guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, “I`m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I`m a journalist and I`ve got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations.”
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean $100?”
A man with a 20-inch penis went to his doctor to complain that he was unable to get any women to have sex with him because they all told him that his penis was too long.
“Doctor,” he asked, in total frustration, “Is there any way you can shorten it?”
The doctor replied, “Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But I do know a witch who may be able to help you.” So the doctor gave him directions to the witch’s place.
The man went to see the witch the next day, and told her his sad story.
“Witch, my penis is 20 inches long, and I can’t get any women to have sex with me. Can you help me shorten it?”
The witch asked him to pull it out so she could have a look at it. The man uncoiled his 20-inch penis. The witch stared in amazement, scratched her head, and then replied, “I think I have a solution to your problem. What you have to do is go to this pond deep in the forest. In the pond you will see a frog sitting on a log who can help solve your dilemma. You must ask the frog, ‘will you marry me?’ Each time the frog declines your proposal, your penis will be 4 inches shorter.”
The man’s face lit up and he dashed off into the forest. He came upon the pond and, sure enough, there sat the frog on a log. He uncoiled his huge python-like penis and called out to the frog, “Will you marry me?”
The frog looked at him with some disdain, and replied, “NO.”
The man looked down and suddenly his penis was 4 inches shorter!
“WOW!” he screamed out loud. Then he said to himself, “This is great! But it’s still too long at 16 inches, so I’ll ask the frog to marry me again.”
Once more he shouted to the frog, “Frog, will you marry me?”
The frog rolled its eyes back in its head and screamed back, “NO!”
The man felt another twitch in his penis, looked down, and it was another 4 inches shorter! The man laughed, and shouted, “This is fantastic!”
He looked down at his penis once more, and by now it was only 12 inches long, so he reflected for a moment. “Twelve inches is still a monster, just a little less would be ideal,” he thought. “So, I’ll ask the frog to marry me ONE more time.”
Grinning, he looked across the pond and yelled out, “Frog, will you marry me?”
The frog looked back across the pond shaking its head in frustration and said, “NO! NO! . . . and for the last time, NO!”
This cowboy was walking in the woods one day and he comes to a clearing. There on a blanket was a naked Indian with an erection.
“What are you doing?” the cowboy asks.
The Indian answers, “Me tell time.”
The cowboy says, “Ok. If you are so good, what time is it?”
The Indian looks down at his penis and the shadow it made and said, “It 2 o’clock.”
The cowboy looks at his watch and says, “By Golly, you are right!”
The cowboy starts walking again and comes upon another naked Indian laying on a blanket.
“Don’t tell me….you’re telling time also?”
Indian looks up at him and says, “Yes, me telling time.”
The cowboy says, “Okay smartass, what time is it?”
The Indian looks up at the sun and down at his penis and says, “It 4 o’clock.”
The cowboy is amazed at the Indians, so he keeps walking.
A few hours later he comes upon an Indian on a blanket, masturbating.
“Don’t tell me you are telling time!!??”
The Indian looks up at him and says, “No, me winding watch!!”
I loved the track Do It Again by chemical brothers and wanted to use it in my mix. Check it out and leave comments as always.
001- Toh Phir Aao(Love is Gone mix)
002- Saathiya (Strike me down)
003- Cash (Boogy mix)
004- Heyy Babyy (big room mix)
005- Tadap ( 70’s Electro mix)
006- Bhool Bhulaiyaa(only you mix)
007- Mind Blowing Mahiya (the beat is rockin mix)
008- Jane Bhi De (Tocadsico mix)
009- Naughty Naughty (Club Bass)
010- Dard-E-Disco (miracle mix)
011- O Yaara Dhol Bajake (phoney mix)
012- Mauja Hi Mauja (dont stop mix)
013- Ke Bin Tere (band mix)
014- Deewangi Deewangi (remix)
The wholesale dealer of a sex lighter was arrested in Kottayama yesterday for selling the product which was reportedly selling like hot cakes among school students.
Kottayam superintendent of police S Sreejith said: “When the lighter is lit, a picture of a lady in a compromising position pops out.”
Priced at Rs 15, the lighter was very popular among schoolchildren. The matter surfaced when a schoolboy gifted the lighter to a girl in his class. The girl’s parents approached the police and they tracked down the wholesale dealer.
Wonder if anyone of you has managed to get his/her hands on the sex lighter. Sounds like a sexciting product though definitely not for school children.
1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.
2. Its best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.
3. You can do it with no hands, but its best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.
4. Its easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.
5. You can do it by yourself, but its usually not as much fun.
6. Its usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.
7. Its best to have a soft place to land.
8. You dont need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.
9. If youre with someone who is having trouble keeping up, its usually best to slow down and wait for them.
10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.
11. Once you learn, you never forget how.
12. If you fall off get right back on.
13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.
14. Remember to signal before you change direction.
15. Make sure that you’ve got a firm grip.
16. Sometimes its nice to have a cushy seat.
17. Once youre over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.
18. That’s why some of them are called Mountin Bikes.
Bhool Bhulaiyaa(only you mix) ( mp3 download)
Here’s the remix for the latest peppy number. I am sure anyone can love this track. Check it out and leave comments.
