Why????

*Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

*Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough money in your account?

*Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

*Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?

*Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

*Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

*Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

*Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

*Whose idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?

*What is the speed of darkness?

*If you send someone ‘Styrofoam’, how do you pack it?

*If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

*If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

*If it’s true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

*Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

*If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

*Do you cry under water?

*How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

*If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

*Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

*How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

*Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?

*If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

*Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

*Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway…